SoberlyCo Newsletter #1: Welcome & The Decision That Changed Everything

Well, here we are.

I'm sitting here writing the first newsletter I've ever sent, wondering if I'm completely mad for thinking anyone wants to hear what a 33-year-old Irishman has to say about building a life without the drink.

But then I remember the conversation that started all this.

It was 10 months ago. My partner and I had been staying with my family for about a week. Every day around 4 o'clock, they would leave to go to the pub. We had to sort out dinner to make sure it was ready before bedtime. They were functioning alcoholics.

I asked, "Why? Why every day?"

My question was laughed at, then shrugged off, and I was told, "Life is too chaotic and stressful without it."

A couple of days later, out walking the dog, my wife asked, "Is that how you want to handle stress? What about when we think about having kids?"

I didn't have a good answer.

The truth is, I'd been using alcohol the same way for years. Bad day at work? Pint. Good day at work? Celebratory pint. Tuesday? Well, it's been a long week already, hasn't it?

But hearing it said out loud—using alcohol as the primary tool for handling stress—made me realise something uncomfortable: I didn't actually have any other tools.

Here's what I discovered:

When I really looked at my life, alcohol wasn't just something I enjoyed. It had become my default response to almost everything. Stressed? Drink. Happy? Drink. Social event? Drink. Watching the match? Drink.

I wasn't an alcoholic in the way you see in films. I was just... dependent. On a substance to help me feel normal, to celebrate, to relax, to connect.

And if I was going to be responsible for a tiny human who would learn everything from watching me, I needed to figure out a better way.

So here's what SoberlyCo is really about:

This isn't me preaching from some mountaintop of sobriety wisdom. I'm literally figuring this out as I go, preparing for the most important job of my life whilst learning to navigate life without alcohol as my social lubricant.

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I'll share:

• What's actually working (and what's been a complete disaster)

• Practical strategies for handling stress, social situations, and family dynamics

• Real talk about the challenges of changing your relationship with alcohol

• Science-backed approaches that don't require superhuman willpower

• Community stories from others on the same journey

This week's reality check:

I went on holiday with some friends recently. Usually, we would get drunk every night and have a bit of a party—games, karaoke, the works. Instead, I'd stocked up on sugar-free fizzy drinks and good coffee.

My friends thought it was a bit weird to start with, then I ended up having some deep, meaningful conversations that everyone would actually remember. I just headed to bed when the party started getting rowdy.

Turns out, when you're not slightly buzzed, you actually connect with people differently.

Who knew?

What I want you to know:

If you're here, you're probably thinking about making some changes too. Maybe you're preparing for family life like me. Maybe you're already a parent wondering if there's a better way. Maybe you're just tired of feeling like alcohol controls more of your social life than you'd like to admit.

You're not alone. And you don't need to have it all figured out to start.

This week's small experiment:

Pick one situation this week where you'd normally reach for a drink—maybe it's after a stressful day, or during a social event—and try something else instead.

Could be a walk, a phone call to someone you care about, or even just sitting with the feeling for a few minutes without trying to change it.

See what happens. No judgement either way.

Hit reply and tell me:

• What brought you here?

• What's one small change you're curious about trying?

I read every email, and your stories help shape what I write about.

Here's to building something better,

Paddy

P.S. If you know someone else who might be interested in these conversations, feel free to forward this along. Building community is half the point.

P.P.S. Next Wednesday, I'm sharing what happened when I tried to explain to strangers on a stag do why I'm not drinking at the moment. Spoiler: it was awkward, but not in the way I expected.

📧 Questions? Just hit reply – I respond to every email.