SoberlyCo Newsletter #10: The Quiet Weeks (And Why They Matter Too)

This week has been refreshingly... ordinary.

No dramatic breakthroughs. No major challenges. No weddings, festivals, or trips to navigate. Just a regular week of work, life, and staying sober through the mundane stuff.

And honestly? That feels like progress.

The Slow Week Victory

Here's something nobody tells you about sobriety: the quiet weeks are often harder than the dramatic ones.

When you're at a wedding or festival, you're hyper-aware of your choices. You've got your strategies ready. You're mentally prepared for the challenge.

But a random Tuesday evening when you're tired and bored? That's when the old patterns try to creep back in.

This week, I managed those moments well. Used the methods I've outlined in my "first year hurdle" process—the ones that actually work when willpower isn't enough. Nothing fancy. Just consistent application of simple strategies.

Some weeks, boring is a win.

Autumn Comfort (Without the Alcohol)

The weather's properly turned now. Colder nights, darker evenings, that instinctive pull toward cozy comfort.

I've been leaning into it—but in ways that don't involve alcohol:

• Early bedtimes instead of late-night drinking sessions

• Proper blankets and warmth instead of the fake warmth from alcohol

• Hot drinks in the evening (tea, coffee, hot chocolate) as the new ritual

• Actually enjoying being snuggled in bed instead of passing out drunk

There's something deeply satisfying about being properly cozy without being numbed.

You feel the warmth. You appreciate the comfort. You're present for the simple pleasure of a cold night and a warm bed.

It's not exciting. But it's real.

The Breakfast Conversation

This weekend, I met up with some friends for breakfast—a couple who recently became parents. They're in the thick of it: sleepless nights, constant feeding, the overwhelming responsibility of keeping a tiny human alive.

What struck me most wasn't the challenges they described, but the small tips that nobody tells you about.

The unexpected things that actually help. The weird solutions that work when nothing else does. The stuff you only learn by living through it.

I'm planning a future newsletter about this: "The Parenting Advice Nobody Gives You" or something like that. The practical, unglamorous tips that actually matter when you're exhausted and don't know what you're doing.

But here's where I need your help.

I Need to Hear From You

This newsletter is shorter than usual, and that's intentional. Because what I really want this week is to hear from you.

I've got questions:

1. What do you actually want to read about?

• More personal stories from my journey?

• More practical strategies and techniques?

• Science and research explained simply?

• Parenting-specific content?

• Work stress management?

• Social situation navigation?

2. What topics am I not covering that you're curious about?

• Relationships and intimacy in sobriety?

• Financial aspects of not drinking?

• Career growth without happy hour networking?

• Something else entirely?

3. If you're a parent (or preparing to be one), what's your best "nobody tells you this" parenting tip?

I want to create a future edition filled with real advice from real parents in this community. The unglamorous, practical stuff that actually helps.

4. What's your biggest sobriety challenge right now?

Not in general—specifically, what's testing you this week or month? What do you wish you had better strategies for?

The Community Request

Here's the thing: I can keep writing about my experiences, and I will. But this newsletter works best when it's a conversation, not a monologue.

Some of the best newsletter topics I've written came from reader replies.

Someone asked about handling old drinking buddies → Newsletter #6 about stubborn boundaries

Someone mentioned struggling with alone time → Newsletter #4 about loneliness in sobriety

Someone wondered about travel → Newsletter #9 about San Sebastian

Your questions and challenges help me write better content that actually serves you.

So please, hit reply and tell me:

• What you want more of

• What you want less of

• What you're struggling with

• What's working for you

• Your best parenting tip (if applicable)

I read every single reply. 

Here's to the quiet victories,

Paddy

P.S. If you haven't grabbed my "first year hurdle" process yet and you're curious about those methods I mentioned for managing cravings during quiet weeks, let me know and I’ll share the details.

P.P.S. Next week's topic is flexible—it depends on what I hear from you in replies. What should I write about?