SoberlyCo Newsletter #9: Pintxos Without Pints (Navigating Food Culture Sober in the Basque Country)

First, my apologies for disappearing again.

Last week found me in one of the most challenging places for sobriety I've ever experienced: San Sebastian and Biarritz. Not because of wild nightlife or peer pressure, but because of something I hadn't anticipated—how deeply food culture and drinking culture are intertwined in some places.

I'm writing this back at my desk in England, feeling like I've just completed some kind of advanced sobriety masterclass.

The trip was incredible, but it tested every strategy I thought I'd mastered. Here's what I learned about staying sober when your usual coping mechanisms don't translate across cultures.

San Sebastian: The Anxiety Test

If you've never been to San Sebastian, let me paint you the picture: this is a city built around small plates culture. Pintxos bars everywhere, each with their own specialties, and a very specific way of ordering that involves pointing, gesturing, and navigating crowded bars where everyone seems to know exactly what they're doing.

Except me.

In the past, I would have handled this kind of social anxiety—new place, language barrier, unfamiliar customs—with alcohol. A quick beer or wine to loosen up, reduce the self-consciousness, make the whole experience feel more manageable.

This time, I had to navigate it completely present and aware.

The challenge was immediate. First pintxos bar, 6 PM, packed with locals chatting over glasses of Rioja and gildas. The bartender looks at me expectantly. Everyone around me is holding a drink. The social ritual is clear: food + drink = belonging.

I ordered a Mosto and felt like I was wearing a sign saying "awkward tourist."

The Food Focus Strategy

But here's what saved me in San Sebastian: I decided to make the food itself my obsession.

Instead of using alcohol to manage the anxiety of not fitting in, I threw myself completely into the culinary experience:

• I studied every pintxo before ordering, really looking at ingredients and preparation

• I asked questions about dishes (in broken Spanish, but genuine curiosity)

• I took my time with each bite, actually tasting instead of just consuming

• I moved slowly from bar to bar, focusing on quality over quantity

The result was fascinating: By being completely present for the food, I started having genuine interactions with bartenders and other diners. My curiosity about the dishes became conversation starters. My obvious appreciation for the cuisine made up for my lack of Spanish fluency.

I was connecting through food instead of alcohol.

The Anxiety Without Alcohol Reality

But let me be honest about the hard part: navigating social anxiety without my usual crutch was exhausting.

Every new bar required mental energy. Every interaction needed conscious effort. By evening, I was drained in a way I hadn't experienced since early sobriety.

This is what nobody tells you about sober travel:

• You feel everything more intensely

• Social situations require more mental energy

• You can't just "loosen up" when things feel awkward

• Cultural differences feel more pronounced when you can't blur them with alcohol

But here's what I gained:

• I remember every single dish I ate

• I had genuine cultural experiences instead of boozy approximations

• I learned actual Spanish food vocabulary from curious interactions

• I came home with clear memories instead of fuzzy impressions

The anxiety was real, but so was the authentic experience.

Biarritz: The Easier Balance

The second half of our trip—Biarritz—felt completely different, and I think I know why.

Instead of navigating complex social food rituals, I could focus on physical activities.

My Biarritz routine:

• Morning coastal walks along the stunning Basque coast

• Afternoon surfing sessions (incredible experience)

• Evening food exploration with the confidence built from daytime activities

The physical activity gave me natural confidence and energy. When you've spent the morning walking clifftop paths or battling waves, you arrive at dinner already feeling accomplished and present.

Biarritz taught me something crucial about sober travel: I need a balance of physical activity and cultural exploration, not just one or the other.

What This Trip Taught Me

1. Food can be your anchor, but it's work In San Sebastian, focusing intensely on cuisine kept me grounded, but it required constant mental effort. You can't just coast through meals—you have to actively engage.

2. Physical activity builds social confidence The days in Biarritz when I surfed or walked extensively, I felt more naturally confident in social situations later. Movement creates a foundation of wellbeing that makes everything else easier.

3. Cultural anxiety is real without alcohol Travel amplifies all the social situations that used to trigger drinking. New places, unfamiliar customs, language barriers—they all feel more intense when you can't smooth them over with alcohol.

4. Authentic experiences are worth the extra effort Yes, navigating Spanish food culture sober was harder than it would have been drunk. But I came home with genuine appreciation for Basque cuisine and culture, not just fuzzy memories of "having a good time."

The Biarritz Revelation

Standing on the beach in Biarritz after a particularly challenging surf session, watching the sunset over the Bay of Biscay, I had one of those moments of pure clarity.

I was exactly where I wanted to be, feeling exactly what I wanted to feel, without any substances altering the experience.

The combination of physical challenge, natural beauty (that coastline is incredible), and cultural immersion (amazing French-Basque food) created a natural high that no amount of alcohol could have improved.

I'm definitely going back to Biarritz. Not just because it's beautiful, but because it showed me what sober travel can be when you get the balance right.

Back to Reality: The Work Week Transition

And now I'm back at my desk in England, dealing with the usual post travel morning "why am I not still on holiday" feelings.

But here's the difference: Instead of nursing a travel hangover and struggling to remember half of what I experienced, I'm energized by clear memories and planning my next trip.

The challenge now is carrying that travel confidence into daily life. How do I maintain the curiosity about food, the commitment to physical activity, and the willingness to be present for experiences even when I'm back in my normal routine?

That's this week's project.

This Week's Travel-Inspired Challenge

Whether you're planning sober travel or just want to bring some travel mindset to your daily life:

Pick one element from travel that you can incorporate this week:

Could be:

• Food curiosity: Try a cuisine you've never explored, really focus on flavors and ingredients

• Physical exploration: Walk a different route, try a new form of exercise, get outside in new ways

• Cultural immersion: Visit a museum, attend a cultural event, learn something about a place you've never been

• Present-moment focus: Really pay attention to one meal per day, one walk, one conversation

The goal is to prove to yourself that the best parts of travel—curiosity, presence, new experiences—are available in your daily life too.

The Sober Travel Evolution

This trip taught me that sober travel isn't just about avoiding alcohol—it's about discovering what you're actually capable of experiencing when you're fully present.

San Sebastian challenged me in ways I didn't expect. The anxiety was real, the social navigation was hard work, but the authentic cultural connection I gained was worth every uncomfortable moment.

Biarritz showed me what's possible when you find the right balance of physical activity, natural beauty, and cultural exploration.

Together, they've given me a template for future adventures that has nothing to do with bars and everything to do with genuine experience.

Hit reply and tell me:

• What's your biggest challenge with sober travel or social situations?

• How do you handle anxiety without alcohol in unfamiliar environments?

• What destination is on your sober travel wishlist?

Here's to adventures you'll actually remember,

Paddy

P.S. If you're nervous about traveling sober, remember that my "first year hurdle" process includes specific strategies for navigating different cultures and social situations. Every challenging experience builds your confidence for the next one.