SoberlyCo Newsletter: Wedding Season Survival (When Everyone Else Is Three Sheets to the Wind)

Last weekend, I attended one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to.

And I'm buzzing—not from champagne.

It wasn't pretty. There were moments I wanted to cave. And some people made it unnecessarily difficult.

But I'm here, clear-headed, and I actually remember every moment of one of the most beautiful days I've witnessed.

Let me paint you the picture.

Let's call them Sam and Sarah—known Sam since our University. He finally married his girlfriend. Gorgeous venue in the Essex countryside, emotional ceremony, and about 80-ish people ready to celebrate properly.

The first challenge hit during the reception drinks.

"What can I get you to drink, Paddy?"

"Just a sparkling water, please."

"Ah come on, it's a wedding! Live a little!"

Here we go.

By dinner, I'd discovered something that nearly broke my resolve: soft drinks weren't included with the meal. Had to pay separately for each one. Meanwhile, wine was flowing freely at every table.

Nothing makes you feel more conspicuous than being the only person reaching for your wallet every time you want a drink.

The Peer Pressure Reality Check

6:00 PM - Dinner Service

Table full of lads I hadn't seen in years. Stories are flying, laughter is building, and everyone's getting louder with each bottle of wine.

"Paddy's not drinking tonight, lads. He's being good."

Said with that tone. You know the one.

8:30 PM - The Real Test

"Seriously though, what's the deal? One pint won't kill you. We're celebrating here!"

This from someone who's already had six and is getting aggressive about my "lifestyle choice."

Here's what I realized about peer pressure at 33:

Some people take your sobriety as a personal attack on their drinking. They'll push because your choice makes them question their own relationship with alcohol.

But here's what worked when the pressure got intense:

Three Responses That Actually Work

1. "I'm the designated driver tonight"

Why it works: Instantly makes you the responsible one. Hard to argue with someone keeping everyone safe.

What happened: Immediate respect. Plus, three people asked if they could catch a lift home with me.

2. "I'm doing a sober experiment right now"

Why it works: The word "experiment" suggests it's temporary and scientifically motivated. People rarely argue with science.

What happened: Two people got genuinely curious and asked what I was learning. Led to proper conversations instead of arguments.

3. "I don't drink" (no explanation)

Why it works: Simple, confident, non-negotiable. No room for debate.

What happened: Most people just nodded and moved on. The ones who didn't revealed more about themselves than about me.

The "Just One Won't Hurt" Myth

Let's talk about the most dangerous phrase in the English language for someone like me:

"Just one won't hurt."

Here's why this is complete bollocks:

For someone committed to sobriety, there often isn't such a thing as "just one." That single drink can unravel weeks of progress. It's not about willpower—it's about recognizing that alcohol operates differently in my brain.

When someone says "one won't hurt," they're asking me to risk my wellbeing for their comfort.

At the wedding, when the pressure peaked around 9 PM, I had a moment of clarity: True mates don't push you to compromise something important to you.

The friends who mattered most were the ones who said, "Fair play to you, Paddy. How can we make this easier?"

What I Actually Remembered

Because I stayed sober, I was fully present for all the important moments:

• The emotional ceremony: Sam tearing up as he walked her down the aisle

• The speeches: Sam's best man telling stories of his earlier life

• Real conversations: Proper chats with people about life, not just drunk philosophy

• The pure joy: Watching two people I love start their life together

Most importantly: I woke up that morning remembering every detail, feeling proud of how I showed up for my friends and myself.

Your Wedding Season Survival Kit

Whether it's a wedding, birthday, or family celebration coming up, here's your action plan:

Before you go:

1. Research the drink situation - Call ahead or ask the couple what non-alcoholic options will be available

2. Bring backup drinks - Pack alcohol-free beer or your favorite mixers if the venue allows it

3. Choose your response - Pick one of the three strategies above and practice saying it confidently

During the event: 

1. Keep a drink in your hand - It's harder for people to offer you alcohol if you're already holding something

2. Find your allies - Identify the people who support your choice and stick near them when possible

3. Have an exit plan - Know how you're getting home and when you can leave if the situation becomes overwhelming

After the event: 

1. Celebrate your win - You just proved that you can enjoy life's biggest celebrations completely sober

2. Remember the details - Write down your favorite moments while they're still fresh in your memory

The Real Victory

It's not that I didn't want a drink last night. There were moments—especially during the peer pressure—where my brain was screaming for the easy social lubricant.

But I stayed present for the first dance. I remember the best man's speech word for word. I had a proper conversation with Sam about his fears and excitement about marriage.

I was actually there for the moments that mattered.

And this morning, when he texted to thank everyone for making it such a special day, I remembered every reason why it was special to him.

Hit reply and tell me:

• What's your biggest social event coming up?

• Which response strategy sounds most natural for you?

• Have you found any tricks for handling peer pressure?

Here's to being present for the moments that matter,

Paddy

P.S. My "first year hurdle" process includes a whole section on social events and peer pressure. If you're struggling with this stuff, you're not alone—and there are proven strategies that work.

📧 Questions about handling social pressure? Just hit reply – I love hearing your strategies and challenges.